Quit Beating Yourself Up!!

What's on your mind today?  Are you going back over things over and over in your head imagining what you should have done weeks, months or even years ago?  Do you sometimes get stuck inside your head dealing with emotions from the past or worrying endlessly about the future?

​Sometimes we can become stuck when we go inside our heads. Today's blog is to help you become unstuck and start moving your life forward again.

​We all have our experiences where things have not gone as planned but how we process them and move past them can have a huge effect on your mental health.  Often people don't realize they have become stuck inside their heads, spending a huge amount of their waking hours reliving difficult situations over and over playing out different scenarios in their head wondering if they had acted differently if the outcome would have been better.

It is so important during these times to remember no matter how many times you go over the past you cannot control or change what happened.  You cannot change how others treated you nor can you change how the past played out.

​The future is the same no matter how much you imagine and speculate how the future will be, no amount of imagining can show you exactly how it will play out. No matter how hard you try it will never be exactly how you imagine.

​Yet so many people are playing out scenarios in their heads.

​To get yourself unstuck and start living your life with less worry you need to learn how to let situations go if they belong in the past or the future, if you cannot control them then you need to let them go.

​The key to getting unstuck and getting yourself moving again is centered around how you talk to yourself.  I'm talking about the voice inside your head.  The chatter that goes on inside your brain all day long.  Have you ever stopped and actually listened to it? Many people answer no when I ask them this question and look at me like I have asked them to cut off their on finger!!

​Monitoring self-talk is so important, especially if you are feeling stuck.  left unchecked negative self talk can be destructive and can leave you feeling anxious, stressed or worried.

​So if you are in the habit of revisiting the past or worrying about the future it could be that you are beating yourself up about something that you simply cannot change.  Quit beating yourself up! Why are you torturing yourself?  Why are you doing it to yourself?

​It could be that you have a lot of negative self talk going on inside your head and it is constantly telling you all the areas where you fall short along with all the things you should have done or said.

​Regulate self talk and silence that voice that slowly erodes at your soul making you feel inadequate, not worthy or tells you that you don't deserve to be happy.  This voice has learnt to talk to you that way and it can be retaught to say positive, encouraging things to you.  You don't deserve to be talked to in that way.  No one does.  TELL yourself everyday that although you are not perfect you are trying your best and that IS Enough.  You are enough.  You simply cannot compare yourself to others because we are all different, all living different lives, different circumstances and are in different relationships.

​Teach yourself to be kind and gentle to yourself.  Support yourself especially when times are tough.  Give yourself love and respect, you deserve that, we all do!

Check in with yourself first thing in the morning and again at night as well as a couple of times during the day and listen to what you are saying to yourself, make sure it is nice!!

​When you can regulate the self talk in your mind, the more you become aware of it the more positive you can make it.

If you are interesting in finding out more about this topic please get in touch.  I offer group online coaching.